23 April 2006


Squicky Icky Sex

When I wrote below about sex being squicky, I didn't put my words together real well.

Sex isn't squicky, well at least not most of the time. But it is sometimes squicky to talk, or to write, about. At least in mixed company (for some definition of "mixed").

It's just so hard-wired, so innate, so autonomous, that talking about it as if it's rational, reflective, or something we decided we would add to our repertoire misses the point. It's like talking about digestion: biological, not cultural. (As a commenter noted, that's what makes the "lifestyle" in "alternative lifestyle" so ultimately infuriating.)

Not that we don't bring rational decisions and reflective decisions to having sex, but those aren't along the lines of "man who likes other men" compared to "man who likes women," etc. Those are along the lines of "now?" or "later?" or "never?".

Clearly some people find the sexual practices (even the most vanilla ones) of individuals of the other persuasion squicky. That may be a gift from nature. That doesn't mean one ought to respond to such squickiness with verbal or emotional abuse or with physical violence.

Still, sex is not squicky. It's still fun, at least for this one!

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