Son of Timatollah

This tidbit of teleplay was recently found in the Delta Quadrant:

Scene: Gomez and Morticia, fencing in the parlor.

Sexy banter between Gomez and Morticia.

The Addams Mansion "doorbell" rings. (Quaking camera...)

Cut to Lurch answering door. Shot of dusty Beatle boots materializing -- shiny salt effect -- at the threshold. Whirly sound effect with sproing.

Back to parlor, Lurch enters from right. Gomez and Morticia stop fencing.

Gomez: Who is it, Lurch?!

Lurch, disdainfully: Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock to see you, sir.

Gomez: Excellent, Lurch! Send them in!

(All of Gomez's lines end in exclamation points.)

Or how about this one:

Morticia, in the parlor, babying extra-large Preying Mantis.

Addams Mansion doorbell "rings." (Quaking camera.)

Benson: You want me to get that?

Morticia: Oh, Benson, if you don't mind.

You cannot play this game with The Munsters. Well, you can, but it won't be funny, because The Munsters was never funny!

Well once. Paul Lynde was playing a near-sighted physician who they had brought Eddie in to see. "I see you brought your little doggy." But that was only funny because Paul Lynde was funny. Intrinsically funny. Unlike The Munsters which was intrinsically unfunny.

(Hat tip to Solonor for thought provocation.)