07 August 2007


On Family

I try to maintain a certain calmness in spite of the continued existence of hateful people who can't deal with gay people for whatever reason, but these statements by some that suggest that LGBT people don't care about family, are against family, just really piss me off. I don't have a particular quotation to link to: just years of negative comments I've heard here and there.

I think it's understandable that a gay or lesbian or transgendered person who was abandoned by or forced out of their family because of hatefulness, because of an inability to cope with repulsion, or because of misguided religious ideas would turn on their individual family, but I have found, by and large, that LGBT people care as much about their families—the ones we were brought into the world with, the ones we've been brought in to through intimate relationships, and the ones we've made from scratch—as anyone else.

We celebrate our families: our parents, brothers, and sisters; our grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews; our in-laws (of sorts, or "out-laws" as someone once called them). We appreciate their love, and we are happy to return that love. To suggest otherwise, to suggest that LGBT people or the politics of LGBT people, as an ensemble, are somehow anti-family is just facetious.

I know not all LGBT people are as fortunate to have the love and support of their families the way Mack and I have and have had. I'm grateful for our good situation. And I know it's likely that if you don't agree with me on this, little I say can convince you otherwise. I learned a long time ago that bigotry isn't based on rational considerations, and that people practicing bigotry rarely respond to logic. But if you are open minded, pay attention to the degree to which any LGBT person you know interacts with their family. You might be surprised at the extent.

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If the only definition of a "family" is a man, a woman, and 2 kids, then a lot of us are "anti-family" I guess. The GLBT population, any person who's elected not to marry, single women with kids, etc. What irritates me most about the "family values" arguments is that they only have one view of what a family is and that anything else is somehow "less worthy" and a threat to family. I find that totally confusing and totally preposterous. I'd like to find someone who's family is such a limited thing.

A lesbian friend asks people how their marriage is doing now that they've met a lesbian couple. About the same as yesterday? It's a great question.
Huh? People believe that shite? HAHAHA
We have just evolved into a new type of family called "single parent/single child". My daughter and I just ran away from home. It is the happiest family situation I have been in in the last 20 years.
There are many differnt types of families these days. They all need to be embraced.
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