19 August 2006


Department of "Snakes on a Plane" Department

In her review of "Snakes on a Plane," Dana Stevens at Slate discusses Samuel L. Jackson's character's leadership:
Jackson's character is ultracompetent, decisive, and intelligent, both humanitarian and hardheaded: in short, everything you could want from a leader in a time of crisis. Faced with ever more absurd challenges (my second-favorite line in the movie is Jackson's impatient, "Now what?"), he calmly figures out solutions, one snake at a time. Jackson even makes an impromptu leadership pep talk to the surviving victims. "We're all dead!" moans one loser (who will later be swallowed whole by a python.) "I'm not," Jackson counters crisply. It's just what we'd like to hear our commander in chief say: Things are bad, really bad, I'm not going to lie to you people. But we're still alive, and together we're going to find a way to get these motherf***in' snakes off this motherf***in' plane.
Now, if only we could find a way to get those motherf***in' terrorists off this motherf***in' planet, followed by other whack species of religious types, followed by several genus of criminal polticians. It's not too much to ask.

(Yes, I know, current monetary policies are probably making the terrorist threat worse than it could be by making it easier for the terrorists to obtain weapons, but that doesn't mean those mofos wouldn't need relocating elsewhere even with better policies. It would be better, of course, if they would make other choices that didn't make poofing them out of existence so appealing, but, hey, they may say that about us.)

(And, yes, I know that going nutzo over the terrorist threat is disproportionate to the actual likelihood of the impact of a terrorist event.)

(What else can I say? How about, "now more than ever, or else the terrorists have won.")

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